I Just Like This Drawing

Strong Black Woman Backlash: Are Black Women Unintentionally Contributing to the Breakdown of the Black Family?

Recently, I had an epiphany.

It was actually more like a frightening realization, to be honest.

And it came to me on the television set of a BET taping, of all places. During the taping, I was sitting next to a young black male who was just singing his mama’s praises. He spoke lovingly of how she raised him as a single parent, giving tough love and setting high expectations.  Then, he began to talk about how when his father left, his mother “didn’t miss a beat” and just got on with their lives. This struck me. I interrupted him gently, to remind him that that is just what he saw or what she allowed him to see, and that he didn’t know what happened to his mother when he went to sleep or when his mother was alone—she may have cried for hours.

The problem with what this young man saw, is that he was left with the impression that his father left his family and there were no consequences. No repercussions.  This is dangerous thinking for our young men. And in my opinion, dangerous behavior on our part as Black women.  My fear is that our Strong Black Woman Syndrome is unintentionally breaking down our families and creating a dangerous legacy.

I know saying this is tantamount to heresy, given our proud history of carrying the Black family (hope I don’t get banned from the Essence festival!). But what if our history and our future are at odds?
You see, I too, was caught in the Strong Black Woman syndrome when my husband left my family two years ago. I too, thought I was doing what was best for my children by putting on a strong front. By telling them I was fine, when I was really crying my eyes out every time they turned their heads. Telling them, we’d be just fine, even when I had no clue how I would maintain having recently left my six figure job to launch my dream business.
But on this day, sitting next to that young man it became clear to me that I was doing my children a great disservice. And perhaps millions of black women like me were doing the same. On that day, I realized that I didn’t want my son to think that a man walks away from his family and all is “fine.”
I didn’t want him to ever even consider that there is no impact when a husband or father abandons his responsibilities.  And even when a father is still present and involved, we, as women grieve the loss. We feel the loss. On that day, I began to share with my son, in an age appropriate way, that we are hurting and forever changed by his Dad’s departure.  I was hurting. Yes, we will survive. But we will have a few scars.

And then it occurred to me, that perhaps, just perhaps, black women across the country are doing themselves and our future generations more harm than good with our strong front-itis.  What happens when everyone thinks we can handle anything, shake off anything and we don’t care? I am also, now unequivocally convinced that my “wasband” can walk away or be negligent about child support because he knows “I got this.” He knows that I will do what I have to do and make it happen. After all, isn’t that what I have been doing all these years?

When our men see us as strong women who handle everything thrown our way, or we always give a  “ I don’t need that ____” (enter favorite expletive here)—we send a message that we don’t need our Black men. And that our children don’t need them. And this is the farthest thing from the truth.
Are we shooting ourselves in the foot and damaging our families with our strength? What happens when a generation of young black boys and girls are raised by women who show no consequence to fatherless families? Who tell their children, thinking it is in their best interest, that we don’t need that so and so?
 
And what about how we are damaging ourselves? When we perpetuate the dangerous myth of Black women as indefatigable, unshakable, and tireless, we are not allowed to be whole human beings with a full suite of emotions. Some of those emotions, which we, as humans are entitled to experience include being vulnerable, needy, and for lack of a better word, scared ___less.  We have a right to be that. We are not machines. (BTW, think about where that concept originated).  Sojourner Truth’s, Ain’t I A Woman? speech sure does come to mind.

I don’t know if I have the answer. But I do know that Black women need to reclaim our womanness, our femininity, our right to be damsels in distress and the “weaker vessel” if we want to. Sometimes we do need help and sometimes we are not okay.

I also know that Black families are in serious crisis. We’ve spent a lot of time and analysis pointing the finger to the other side of the gender line. Much of that is deserved. But maybe, just maybe, we can spend a little time thinking about the person behind the other four fingers.  Our families are worth the thought.

What do you think?

In motherhood,
Kimberly

http://mochamanual.com/blog/tag/strong-black-woman/

Deep Thoughts...

Is it giving up or is it strategic planning? I have been to numerous court appearances and been in more than enough arguments with my ex-wife. I have come to the point where I have become fed up with the fighting about child support and tired of the games concerning visitation with my son. I have moved on. I found a wonderful woman. I have a new direction. I have decided to take the every other weekend visit with my son. That is the schedule my ex so graciously given me. Of course I think that's more complete and utter bullshit (see earlier post). I was a father there everyday and now reduced to bi-weekly visitation. Yes that hurts like hell but I had to realize that this is my reality. I don't want to fight anymore. I want to move on.

I was watching Judge Judy today and she mention to a woman that was keeping her kids away from their father. Judge Judy told the woman that one day the father would say he has had enough. He will move on because the mom has made it too difficult. Judge Judy said that he has already found a beautiful woman and that he will just wait until the children are older to see them. She also said that this is behavior she has seen thousands of times before during her career. Judge Judy seemed to take it as a natural event and that is exactly how I took it. It kind of gave me confirmation that I am not alone in my thinking. Now I don't plan on not seeing my boy every chance I get, but I will discontinue arguing and fighting for any time beyond what was court ordered. I will take my time that was given and make the most of it. Judge Judy said to the mother that if she continued the children would grow to hate her for keeping them from their father. I hate the fact that I won't have the opportunity to raise my children in a complete household. Not waking each morning to their voices. Not teaching them everyday and playing all the time. Its sad to think about of but I now only look to the future.

Daniel Beaty "Knock Knock"

Another Message to The Mother

Mom,

I left you the voicemail today just to get a little more info on our son's school. He has been saying he has a teacher and went to school since I last had him on 8/22/09. When he first mentioned it I wasn't sure if he just visited a school with you and/or your daughter so I didn't ask any questions. Now he says he has two teachers and he is going to school so I figured that sounded like a pre-school setting and I should ask you. I was not trying to be critical at all just wanted more info so I can understand more the things that he talk about. Now you say that you sent me a text message and I appreciate that but as I mentioned to you during our conversation that my phone was off. I know you didn't have to send that text. I know you don't have to give me any information about our son nor do you have to consider my role as his father... ever. That was evident when you didn't call to let me know he was in the hospital. But just to be a little more considerate if you don't mind. Please don't depend on a text message for important events regarding our son. There are numerous ways you can get a message to me in between my visits with him. I am sure you know this. My grandmother and my father are both reachable by phone and within 5 minutes driving time from you. Even my sister lives 3 blocks away from you. Again, I understand that you are not obligated in anyway to share any information about our son. But if you are willing to send a text then please be willing to call so I won't miss his first day of school, hospitalizations, or any other important events concerning him. I would never depend on a text message regarding important things with our son without at least a follow up call or confirmation that you received it. If you aren't willing to follow up or call then don't send a text just to send it and act as if that was the best you could do. We both are much smarter than that. Thanks again for the info today.

Dad

Child Support System Rant

I know this is a very touchy subject to a lot of people, especially men. Hell, its a touchy to me. But I need to write about it. I'm not trying to say whose wrong or right even though I hate the system. I'm on the kids side.

So I'm paying two child support...yes I said (2). And I guarantee that at least 75% of the people that hear of multiple child support cases assume deadbeat father. If you assume that of me then read all my blog posts and leave a comment. I will be happy to converse with you.

I think the system is part of the problem. Now don't get me wrong, the biggest problem is the dead beat fathers out there. Men making these babies and not taking care of them. That's the origin of the problem right there. Next in line are the young women that don't know what to look for in a man (because they didn't have a father to look up to) and can't wait to have a baby with him. Young as hell and ready to play house. Those two put together creates a child that more than likely grows up in a broken household with an increased chance to repeat the cycle.

So where does the system comes in? The child support system, just like other government agencies treats people like a number. Both parents are equally responsible for raising a child. So why is it assumed that the child is automatically best living with mom? Why is the visitation reduced when an active father makes that request? And to get more time he has to petition mom? Why is it that the father has to be damn near homeless to take support his kid(s) and mom seems to make a come-up? You know shit like that. Its true... Its cheaper to keep her. There are many more instances like this.

Of course I know there are women out there who will flip after reading this. We all know your side of the story. Your baby daddy is/was no good, didn't take care of his kids (the way you wanted to or the way he should have). He didn't support them as he should. He don't see them as he should. etc... This is strictly from a male point of view. A responsible father's point of view. We are up against a system designed to punish the dead-beats while the mothers snicker and grin. We are in the middle of irresponsible bullshit and always get the worst of it. Perfect example is that I established my first support order so that nobody could ever say I was a dead-beat. I was quickly treated as such as soon as mom decided to give her sob story. I didn't want to be with her because of her ways so of course I had to pay. I was treated like a person who abandoned his family when there never was a family to begin with.

I could bitch and moan for days and it wouldn't solve anything. I mentioned in an earlier blog that I stand on my word and I did by doing what I had to do regardless of the system or any other opposition. Sometimes I wish that those who are so strict against all responsible men who are and are trying to paying child support could walk in our shoes for a day and see what they have to go up against. Judges listening to the struggling mom and not even looking our direction. Damn near 50% of our pay going toward child support and mom is making at least 20k more in her base salary then dad is.

I think each case should be looked at by at least two people. Not one judge that might be having a bad day or pissed by some other dead-beat whose case came up before yours. I think this panel should look deeply into both parties finances and not just sort through some false numbers thrown together by individuals and attorneys with a ruling made in 15 minutes. These are people's lives they are dealing with and handing out 18, 20, and even 22 year sentences in the matter of minutes. Most importantly it should truly be about the children. Kids need to be around dad more than 4-6 days per month without having to petition a court or mom. Especially when they have been part of that child(ren) lives. Joint custody should be the standard unless one of the parents aren't worthy. Fathers deserve more respect!

Father...

...A son's first hero, A daughter's first love. I couldn't have said it any better.

Over the past few months I've been reminded of this many times over. My kids look up to me for so many things. Not just gifts but the love, attention, discipline, and security that I provide.

I love them not just as a father but as a daddy should. I still feel the butterflies when they call me daddy. Can you believe I never called anyone daddy? For as long as I can remember I never said it out loud. Until recently, and when I did say it-it sounded weird coming out of my mouth. To hear my kids call me daddy is a wonderful feeling. I tell my Big Head, Princess, and Buddy I love them all they time and kiss the boys even though I know they don't like it. Avery wipes it off. LOL

The attention that I provide is constant when they are with me. Now I do have my moments when they are distracted. I try to step away just to refocus and figure out what time it is. lol They track me down quickly to break all that up. But when they want my attention it's theirs. As long as they are respectful!

That is where discipline comes in. They know that I have expectations from each and every one of them. They are to respect others as well as respect themselves. They are to try their best at whatever they do. School most importantly. (And the twins are on the principal's list...JOY! :-)) And I try to teach them patience. It has taken me years, on my own to learn patience. It was a struggle and I fight with it at times but it has paid off tremendously. There will be no if, ands, nor buts to it. I can see that my kids respect that and obey. I am proud!

I will protect my children fiercely! Keep them secure at all costs. I'm sure they have seen bits and pieces of my attitude when I come at others that has done them wrong. I DON'T PLAY!!! Please don't try me. Unless you want to see me in beast mode which I highly recommend you stay away.

At times I forget how much they rely on me and how much I need them. But they are constant reminders. Reminders that I need to stay on my square with them. I have to remain focused and keep it going. Several years ago I believed that all I had to do was wait out the 18years then I would be done. But with more experience and maturity I am learning that my support will never end. And to be honest I'm not at all upset by it. :-)

I am my boy's first hero! They want to be just like me. I am my daughter's first love. She will find a spouse... (in the far distant future) that have the same qualities as her first love. Its amazing the impact that I have on them. How much they take from me and apply to their own lives. Simply amazing!

Introducing The Kid(s)

He’s just not that into you. We know the truth hurts, but this is definitely a reason some guys don’t introduce a woman to his kids. Maybe enough time has passed that he knows you well enough, but he doesn’t think he’s in it for the long-haul with you. He’s not convinced that you’re The One.

http://coparenting101.org/2009/06/30/co-parenting-and-dating-why-he-wont-introduce-you-to-his-kids/

"When will I meet your kid(s)?!?!" This has been a big question asked of me for some time now during random dates I've been on. And the same answer applied to all that asked. I'm just not that into you. Its kind of a harsh thing to say. And for the record I never said it... just thought it. I always had to come up with a clever way to tell women "I don't think I'm that into you just yet for me to introduce you to my children."

Well it has been almost 2 years since I separated from my ex-wife and almost 6 months since the divorce has been finalized. I have been on what seems to have been countless dates. After all that today I introduced my youngest to my love.

It went much better than I anticipated. My boy tends to shy away from people he don't know. Well he gives them the cold shoulder! I had to warn her that it may take him up to 30 minutes to warm up and speak. So she was well prepared. All three of us got together over breakfast this morning. I couldn't believe it! He was shy for about 5 minutes and the rest of our breakfast went very well.

"I had a great time. He is so cute and too funny!" That was a text sent by my love and when read aloud was like music to my ears. I always said that whoever I choose she would have to be able to enjoy my kids. And they would have to be comfortable with her. He told her one of his knock knock jokes, played blow the crayons back and forth, and even gave her a high five after breakfast! That's way more interaction than most family could get out of him after a full day.

I noticed something special about my love when we first met. Some sort of comforting, loving feeling. And even now she fails to disappoint. Maybe my boy is sensing the same things I was. Nevertheless, she has opened yet another door to my heart. My little boy likes her. :-)

Best Father You Can Imagine! R.I.P. MJ

I couldn't imagine my baby crying over me not being there anymore. Fathers, watch this touching video and take time to think about what your children mean to you. I love you Makayla, Montrel, Avery.

The Hurt Continues

In how many ways can a woman hurt a man? I can't answer that, but I believe my ex-wife intentional or not is doing one hell of a job trying to answer that question.

My 3 year old son has been suffering from seizures since March of this year. He has been hospitalized several times for having them in spurts. One time his mom dropped him off in Michigan with relatives and he had (4) seizures in the matter of hours. They had to transport him by ambulance from Michigan back to Illinois to see his own doctor. I hated her for doing such a irresponsible thing amongst others.

Today I was supposed to get my boy and have him for an extended amount of time. His mom called about an hour ago to tell me he wasn't at the sitters house. She said he is currently at home because they just got back from the hospital. She stated that he had a seizure at 2 a.m. Tuesday morning at home. Then he had another at 3 a.m. at the hospital. The ambulance came to her home to pick them up and he was taken to Ingalls hospital. He was then transferred to Christ where he was there for more than 24 hours. My boy was in the hospital for more than 24 damn hours and I didn't even get a call. Here is where I will insert her excuse:

"I left my phone at home. I don't know anybody's number."

As usual its a dumb ass reason for not doing the sensible thing. I'm not even about to go into the details of this or even try to make sense of it. I know better. I spent over 10 years trying to do so and have failed miserably each time. I really wish I had someone to tell me that she was a fucking idiot in the beginning when all the problems were there. I wish there was someone there to tell me I was a fucking idiot to keep dealing with her. Maybe then I wouldn't be dealing with all this mess now. I would have listened to someone. I really wish my mom was around...

Do you know what its like knowing your child was in trouble and you weren't there? Its a horrible feeling. Your kid needed you and you weren't there to hold them and protect them. I know its not my fault but that doesn't change the circumstances. I wasn't there! It hurts like hell.

A Father's Joy!

So, I know I'm late posting this since Father's Day was more than a week ago. My Father's day actually started the day after. I decided to hit the road to pick up my twins in Kentucky. I left Atlanta before the crack of dawn so I could see my babies in the A.M. It is a 5 hour trip from Atl but it was so well worth it.

I made it to Kentucky around 10 a.m. central. Before I could make it to the front door to ring the bell, it popped open. Makayla was there and jumped into my arms. Wow! My baby is getting so big was all I could think of. Montrel then appeared standing almost 8 inches taller. My Boy! They were both excited as I was. They both rushed me to be the first to give me their homemade Father's Day card. I loved them both! And both cards had money in it! A buck each! :-) They know me so well. Of course that money would be going directly back to them for all the things they request. But its cool, because I loved the thought.

The most special gift that I have received from them was the Father's day song Makayla wrote and sung for me. OMG! It was the best... Check it!

I know that everyone thinks their daddy is the best.
Well let me just inform them all that i'm the one who's blessed.
There's no other dad like you, of that I am quite sure.
For no matter what the pain you always have a cure.

My baby wrote that for me!!!! And then sung it with her cute crackly voice. I was on top of the world! Could it get any better? I am a proud daddy. Of course I have a video of her singing that I will be viewing for the rest of my life.

We spent several days together and had a ball. On the way home I timed it so that I could stay to watch Montrel play in his baseball playoff game. Overall it was a great week.

I will be blogging soon about something that is very hard for me to get use to. That is dealing with the kids when its time for them to return home. I am feeling pretty good right now and writing about that may just kill my spirit. Keep a look out.

Lonely Kid

I remember when I was about 10 years old and my brother's father came to pick him up for a few weeks in the summer. I watched his dad come, gather his things, and go. My brother was about 6 at the time. He was my best and only playmate while I was in our home. I noticed that summer must have been the time for dads because several of my other friends went away also. So you could probably see the problem I had. I was suddenly lonely.

Lots of times I was that child many people would notice playing alone in public housing. That's because they were gone with their dads, relatives, or at some camp that we couldn't afford. I had the hardest time when I was younger staying at home. I wanted to be outside with friends. Especially while my brother was away. My mom was the best mom ever! But mom could never have the same passion for rough play like my brother, friends and I had. At least the neighborhood guys were there. You know, the drug dealers and the gang members. I guess you can see where this could lead also.

I wrote in an earlier post about my feelings toward my father. His consistent presence would have alleviated a lot of my lonely feelings. That would have been the ultimate solution.

This post really isn't about my father but about the people who allow siblings to separate and be alone. I wished that I could go with my brother or friends fathers when they came. Every blue moon I was invited and it was great. Siblings shouldn't be separated like that when they are so close. From that point I decided that if I was ever in that position where if I had to pick up my kids and they had siblings there, I would at least acknowledge them. I would bring them a gift also and not make my kids out to be more privileged than them. And If I could I would bring them along also.

Hey dads! Next time you go to pick up your kid(s), and if they have siblings living with them and their father isn't around, remember this post. Acknowledge them if you don't mind. Don't forget them when you buy your kids gifts if you can. It doesn't have to be much. Just something to let them know they are special too. If you have that type of relationship with mom then take them along also. I know I'm pushing it with a lot of you. But by doing some of these things it could help a ton to build the character of these young boys and girls. Its not their faults they are in that position. Kids need attention. Give a little. Give it a try...

Daddy's Little Girl by Peter Love

Pretty cool song. There are a lot of fathers that feel the exact same way about their little girls. I know I do. Enjoy!

Where were you???

I grew up in public housing where most parents were single mothers. All I knew was my mom and my father was rarely around. I actually don't ever remember seeing them both in the same room. I used to watch Sanford & Son not only because it was a funny show, but because the son (Lamont) reminded me of my father. They had similar mustaches. (LoL) I did see him probably once per year around the holidays when my grandmother wanted me to come visit. Many times, I looked toward others as that father figure. Such as:

• Moms boyfriend (who was a player and at times abusive toward mom)
  
• Uncle (that went away to Air Force and rarely seen again)
• Uncle (that was inspired to be the biggest gangster in the city)
• Best friends father that lived at home (which was odd)
• Other best friend father (who came to pick him up often)
  
• Hustlers in the neighborhood (teaching me the game at 6!!!)
  
• My brothers father (who came to get him often and left me home alone wondering where my dad was. and was abusive toward mom)

And so on... As you can probably tell most of the men there weren't good role models for a young black male. More importantly none of them were my father.

It is very difficult for people to grow up without a father. There is so much that we should learn from them as children at home. Because dad isn't there and mom being unable to give that balance that a father is supposed to provide, our development is skewed. And we look outside the home for guidance.

I have it rough but I'm not using the absence of my father as an excuse. I want to be with my kids and raise them each and every day but I can't. I want to have a family to come home to but it didn't work out. But I'm still there as much as I can be.

All this leads to a question for my father. Where were you? Where were you when those boys stole my bike? Where were you when a friend and I was offered cash by a cowardly man to beat up a helpless woman? Where were you when I was given work (drugs) by the older boys to give to the crackheads in exchange for candy money? Where were you when I got that bad grade and the teacher threatened to call you and I was able to laugh in her face? Where were you when those boys from Cabrini was waiting for me after school and I had to get up with another group for protection? Where were you when I first needed to shave and I had to ask uncles and other guys what to use and experiment on my own. Where were you when I felt like I had to carry a weapon at all times because I was in places that I had no business being? Where were you when I got robbed? Where in the hell were you when I retaliated? Where were you when I was caught in the middle of a shootout and I had to watch the other kids die? I always think you were where those other unfortunate kids fathers were when they got killed. Somewhere bullshitting!

Now I can't lie and say he was never there. Hey he was there to tell me my mother had passed. he showed up to the hospital when my son was born. Umm... he helped me move my things out of my house when I separated from my ex. Damn! Is the birth of my son the only good memory I have with my father??? I'm sure I can scrape up a few more favorable moments from the past.

This is what separates real men from the rest. Our actions and ability to stand on our word. What did Al Pacino say in Scarface? "All I Have in This World Is My Balls and My Word" I stand on that principal! My word is that my kids will never be able to say "Dad where were you when I needed you?" I can't have them learning life's lessons on their own without any guidance from dad. I definitely don't want them to go through the BS I went through growing up and still experiencing today.

I'm actually not angry at my father. I know what he is and see what he is about. I have other more important things to worry about. Besides all I have in this world is my balls, my word, and my kids!

Getting That feeling again!

That feeling is knowing I will be with my babies soon! Its a great feeling. Similar feeling military vets have when they know they will be coming home and want to surprise the kids.

Okay, okay! They are 8 years old and no longer babies but they will always be in my eyes. Each time I see them I don't see their maturing faces. All I see is them as 1 year olds. I have a feeling that this will be the same when they are grown, married, and with kids.

I am heading to Ga. in about a week for a wedding. My grandmother (bless her) has pulled several strings to make sure that the kids will be in attendance. I was planning on getting them after the wedding, but who am I to overrule the voice of the family? Grandma said she want her grandkids and great grandkids there so I must oblige. :-)

I can't wait to see them and interact with them. I am so anxious! I can't wait to hear my little princess call my name "Daddy!" (lol like I'm in trouble or something) And I can't wait to hear my knucklehead boy ask me a million times what games I got him.

At this wedding much of the family will be there with their significant others and/or their children. I was planning to be alone but thank God for Grandma. She sees things before they happen. She saw that I would be lonely and miserable without my babies. I'm blessed!!!

The Daddy Thing!

I often wonder about people. I especially wonder about how some people involve children in relationship and after the relationship is done, destroy that bond that was created between the child and the other adult.

I guess I should give a bit more detail. When I first met my ex-wife she had a daughter that was going on 2 years old. Father was a deadbeat and mom was basically on her own. Was I trying to be Superman? No! But I did what I could. At that point I was... umm... about 21-22 years old and I always wanted to be a father. (I know, kinda strange for a young boy) I stepped in and became the father in her life. I mean from picking her up from school/daycare, helping with homework, keeping her while mom returned to school, helping to buy clothes, and even bringing my little cousins over for her birthday parties.

Fast forward 11 years later past the marriage, separation, and divorce. I attempted on many occasions to continue being a father to the young beautiful little girl. But mom is still bitter about a lot of things and we have been strategically separated indefinitely.

My question is how can you let your child have a father in her life for so long and then break that bond because of personal feelings? The girl still calls me daddy a 14! Our marriage is over and that was the best for the both of us. But that father daughter bond still remains with mom pushing that wedge in the middle.

Baby girl recently invited me to her 8th grade dance and graduation. Mom took that whole plan apart. Told me "she can't invite anyone to her dance and it is too late to add chaperons. And there aren't anymore graduation tickets available." Ok! What kind of hate does a person need to have in their heart to do those type of things? I really believe the hate stems from confusion but I may never know. As much as I hated her guts after our separation I still allowed my twins to stop by when they asked. The problems between mom and I is just that. The kids should not be used as pawns.

There are plenty of deadbeats out there. Believe me I hear about it all the time from women. But what I don't understand is when you have a man wanting to be there why does he have it much harder than the deadbeat???

Tomorrow is baby girls birthday. I don't even want to ask if I could celebrate with her. Tired of being disappointed. There has been plenty of times where I wanted to give up and just let go. I'm too much of a man for that. It still hurt being denied, but not as much as it use to. Guess I will do the birthday card thing again. At least baby girl knows that I still care.

Technology

I have spent many hours wishing I could spend time with my kids. Although I enjoyed every moment on the phone with the twins it just wasn't enough to alleviate my need to see them. Well I still haven't found a solution for that besides seeing them in person.

But I did decide to make use of a tool I already had... My webcam! Funny thing is that I owned it for over a year before I actually used it. I asked the twins mom to purchase one and she agreed. Now when they are home and available I can chat with them over voice, IM, and view how much they have grown with the cam. Not to mention the kids love being able to make use of the computer, see themselves, and interact with dad.

Give it a try!

First blog... Let's go!

Well here is a little about me. I am a 32 years old. I am single and a father of 3. I have twin 8 year old boy and girl living in Kentucky with their mom, and a 3 year old boy living only a few miles away here in Illinois with my ex-wife.

There it is. It's not much but its a start. Just wait until I get the ball rolling on here. Should be plenty of hot topics. Good night...