The Daddy Thing!

I often wonder about people. I especially wonder about how some people involve children in relationship and after the relationship is done, destroy that bond that was created between the child and the other adult.

I guess I should give a bit more detail. When I first met my ex-wife she had a daughter that was going on 2 years old. Father was a deadbeat and mom was basically on her own. Was I trying to be Superman? No! But I did what I could. At that point I was... umm... about 21-22 years old and I always wanted to be a father. (I know, kinda strange for a young boy) I stepped in and became the father in her life. I mean from picking her up from school/daycare, helping with homework, keeping her while mom returned to school, helping to buy clothes, and even bringing my little cousins over for her birthday parties.

Fast forward 11 years later past the marriage, separation, and divorce. I attempted on many occasions to continue being a father to the young beautiful little girl. But mom is still bitter about a lot of things and we have been strategically separated indefinitely.

My question is how can you let your child have a father in her life for so long and then break that bond because of personal feelings? The girl still calls me daddy a 14! Our marriage is over and that was the best for the both of us. But that father daughter bond still remains with mom pushing that wedge in the middle.

Baby girl recently invited me to her 8th grade dance and graduation. Mom took that whole plan apart. Told me "she can't invite anyone to her dance and it is too late to add chaperons. And there aren't anymore graduation tickets available." Ok! What kind of hate does a person need to have in their heart to do those type of things? I really believe the hate stems from confusion but I may never know. As much as I hated her guts after our separation I still allowed my twins to stop by when they asked. The problems between mom and I is just that. The kids should not be used as pawns.

There are plenty of deadbeats out there. Believe me I hear about it all the time from women. But what I don't understand is when you have a man wanting to be there why does he have it much harder than the deadbeat???

Tomorrow is baby girls birthday. I don't even want to ask if I could celebrate with her. Tired of being disappointed. There has been plenty of times where I wanted to give up and just let go. I'm too much of a man for that. It still hurt being denied, but not as much as it use to. Guess I will do the birthday card thing again. At least baby girl knows that I still care.